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Within the past few days I've seen posts on it. Tantra was suggested. I don't have much to say Chandler Arizona about the topic. It's not as uncommon an occurance as some would have men believe. High excitement and/or build up seem to be the most common factors. whether I should respond to this post. I suppose I'm embarrassed myself because I've been in the same situation for a little over six years and it does fuck with your self esteem. It becomes difficult to experience yourself as an attractive sexual being and your sexuality is such a wonderful part of yourself it extends beyond the act and flavors the way you interact in other circumstances. Just as not having it changes the nature of your relationship. The creative beautiful force that is sexuality has an important and valid place in your life. It is Okay to want it and it. I have gone around in circles just as you have and asked myself all the questions other people are posing. Obviously I've chosen to stay, she is my wife, life has been hard for us and I believe that there is something more that we can become together. Although I am a lot older than you I also feel as if I am “stopping my sex life before it started”. My partner and I are priests in our ancestral tradition, we are parents together… these things along with my dwindling belief in my sexual value, intensify the pressure to work it out. I’m sure If I was your age I would have left. I have no wisdom for you, I’m still working it out. I can’t say yet whether the pressure to stay has been a blessing or not. It is still a work in progress. I say, consider that the problem could be physical, she should talk to a doctor about it, there are physical changes or imbalances that can effect a person this way. Consider whether it is psychological/emotional counseling together and apart could be helpful. Do understand that this is a problem that either she is going to have to also identify as a problem and choose to work on with you. Or that you have to resolve without her which in my mind means leaving. Also understand that even if it is a physical problem, sex is never just sex. My partner and I have tried creating days /times/dates to be romantic but we found the intimacy /trust/self esteem has been lost in the process and needs to be rebuilt. Also understand that her self esteem be just as effected as yours. She also be embarrassed and or not have any understanding of what is going on with her. Good luck and remember that there is nothing wrong with you.
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